I Told You So
by mooresomore
Summary: Logan tried to warn Kendall, but Kendall hadn't listened, so here they were. Clarry inspired this. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: This is complete and total FICTION. That means it never happened and is completely untrue. In fact, this is so far from the truth that it isn't even in the same country as the truth. I don't own anybody, and I make no money off of this. I am not in any way implying said characters' sexual identities.**

**Clarry's Kogan fic (".net/s/7160981/1/All_Better_Now") inspired me to write this one. It's also based on the dirt bike races I went to yesterday (10/16) as a medic. Fortunately, there was only one minor incident, and it didn't require medical attention.**

When Logan and Kendall had adopted their baby boy, Tyler James Knight (TJ for short), Logan had made Kendall promise that they would never allow him to do extreme sports (i.e. car racing, or X-games style things). Somehow, though, TJ had taken up BMX racing at the age of 5 (Logan blamed Kendall; Kendall could never say no to TJ). He was 8 now, and was pretty darn good at it.

Kendall went to every single race; Logan made the ones he could when he wasn't working in the E.R. (he'd become a doctor after Big Time Rush; Kendall was a grocery store owner).

Today was one of TJ's races, and Logan would be working (it was hard to believe he'd been a doctor for 9 years now- it seemed like just yesterday he was in his internship and Kendall was finding ways to be his patient, so he could see Logan. Fortunately, Kendall's cooking had gotten better, so it wasn't for food poisoning. It was usually a 'panic attack'. Once Logan had become a real doctor, Kendall had proposed; a year later, TJ was brought into the family. They'd talked about a sibling, but decided that one was enough). "I love you TJ. Be careful today, ok? You can tell me all about it when I get home."

"Ok. Love you dad!"

"Love you too." Logan tried to ignore that feeling in his chest that something bad was going to happen; TJ would be fine.

When the ambulance radioed in that they were bringing in a rider from the races, Logan started to panic. He got even worse when Kendall called him.

"Logan, there was…an accident." Kendall said. "I'm on my way."

"You're not with him?"

"No." As soon as Kendall said that, Logan knew it was an air ambulance (i.e. Lifeflight), and it was bringing TJ in.

_Oh shit._


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: This is complete and total FICTION. That means it never happened and is completely untrue. In fact, this is so far from the truth that it isn't even in the same country as the truth. I don't own anybody, and I make no money off of this. I am not in any way implying said characters' sexual identities.**

**Clarry's Kogan fic ("All Better Now") inspired me to write this one. It's also based on the dirt bike races I went to yesterday (10/16) as a medic. Fortunately, there was only one minor incident, and it didn't require medical attention. This part also mentions the IZOD IndyCar crash that took Dan Wheldon's life (which also happened on 10/16), and is slightly based on a page I recently went to (where a majorly drunk 19-year-old was riding a BMX bike and tried to jump a pickup- and failed. We stabilized him as best as we could; the last I heard, he was at a bigger hospital, brain dead.) and my thoughts at that time (that's where Logan gets his statement from; it's what I thought.)**

Before Logan knew it, the medics were bringing in TJ. Everything turned into a flurry of activity. Logan told the receptionist to "Send Mr. Knight to my office when he gets here."

Logan came and looked at his son. Until the surgery team got ready, Logan was going to have to take care of him.

They were in the midst of assessing the injuries (TJ was unconscious but breathing) when he flatlined. "Call a code." Logan said. The code team came whizzing in, telling Logan to go; that they had it under control.

Logan went to his office, where Kendall was waiting. "I told you so. I told you this was fucking dangerous, but, _no_, you let him do it anyway."

"I didn't think…"

"Exactly. You _didn't_ think. Now our son's fighting for his life."

"How is he?"

"Let me check."Logan went back out. They were still coding TJ. It'd been 20 minutes, and Logan knew that even if they got him back, there'd be irreversible damage. "Did you try everything?" The team nodded "yes". "Ok. Time of death 10:28 AM."Logan went and gotK endall. "Go say your goodbyes."

"You mean…"

"No, he's alert and talking and fine. Yes, you fucking idiot. Go."

After they had both told TJ goodbye, Kendall tried to talk toLogan.

"I'm at work. We'll talk when I get home." Kendall left, and Logan told the staff he was taking a 10-minute break. He locked himself in his office and started bawling. _I shouldn't have let him go; I knew something was going to happen._ That quickly turned into _This is all Kendall's fault. _

Logan composed himself and finished his shift; he headed home to where Kendall was waiting.

"Hi."Kendall said.

"Don't you 'hi' me."Logan said. "This is all your fault. Don't you remember what I told you the day we adopted him?"

"We would keep him safe."

"Right. And you had to let him go ride those bikes."

"He had to be a kid Logan. He couldn't live in this plastic bubble."

"No, but he didn't have to be a crazy daredevil either."Logansaid. "And I still remember what I told you the day after I tried to save Dan Wheldon's life. Do you?"

"No."

"I told you, 'No one should ever have to go through that.' As I worked on him, it made me think- he was someone's child. And you told me you were going to tell TJ he'd have to stop racing. But did you? No. And now, my son is dead because of you."

"He was my son too." Kendallsaid.

"Well, it doesn't matter now, does it? He's deadm and there's nothing we can say or do to bring him back."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't tell me you're sorry."Logan said. "I've got to call my parents; you should call yours too. Oh and James and Carlos. They need to know."

"Yeah." Kendall was still on the phone when Logan walked out the door.

_Needed me to work an extra shift_ was the text Kendall got. Kendall didn't wait up for Logan, and when Kendall got home the next day from setting up funeral arrangements (which Logan had asked him to do), he found all ofLogan's things in the guest room. "Logan?"

"I can't." was the only thing Logan said, and in fact, that was the last thing Logan had said to Kendall. They kept it cordial for the service, but at home, it was like an icebox.

After four days, Kendall couldn't take it anymore. He called up Katie (who had become a psychologist) and said, "Baby sister, Logan and I need your help."

"I'll be there tomorrow." Kendall didn't tell Logan (he'd figure out some way to get out of it if he knew ahead of time; Logan never liked shrinks), and waited for Katie to show up.

Hopefully, she could help fix this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: This is complete and total FICTION. That means it never happened and is completely untrue. In fact, this is so far from the truth that it isn't even in the same country as the truth. I don't own anybody, and I make no money off of this. I am not in any way implying said characters' sexual identities.**

**Clarry's Kogan fic ("All Better Now") inspired me to write this one. It's also based on the dirt bike races I went to yesterday (10/16) as a medic. Fortunately, there was only one minor incident, and it didn't require medical attention.**

Kendall had picked Katie up at the airport, and snuck her into the apartment. He made breakfast and hollered at Logan that it was ready. A mumble of "whatever" was what he got, but Logan came out of his room.

When he saw Katie there, Logan looked at Kendall and spat, "I don't need to talk to a fucking shrink Kendall!"

"Kendall didn't know I was coming." Katie lied. Kendall owed her.

"Sorry Katie. I don't want to talk."

"I'm not saying you have to." She said, "But I will listen if you ever feel like it."

"Thanks." Logan grabbed his plate and went back to his room. The only two places he went were the hospital and his room. Kendall was starting to get worried.

"I'm going shopping; I'll be back in awhile." Kendall yelled down the hall. "Katie's going to stay here."

"Ok."

Kendall had been gone about a half-hour when Logan came out. "Katie?"

"Yes?"

"Can I talk to you?"

"Sure Logan. Here, have a seat."

"Thanks. I don't know what you know about everything." Logan told her the whole story, including the part where he had the feeling something was going to happen. "It's my fault."

"No it's not Logan. It happened. Sure, if he wasn't racing, it probably wouldn't have happened, but something else might have. It was just his time."

"Why? Why an 8-year-old?" And just like that, the dam broke; Logan sobbed against Katie's shoulder.

"I don't know." Katie said, holding him tightly." What I do know is that you have people around you who love you."

Logan pulled back. "Not Kendall. I blamed him and we haven't really spoken since."

"Well, you could try talking to him. I'm sure he'd listen."

"Right." Logan snarked.

"He's worried about you. I'll be your mediator. When he gets home, you two will talk."

Kendall came home, and Katie told him to come sit on the couch. "Ok, you two. Let's talk about what happened." First, it was mostly accusations flung back and forth, but then it turned to _I __miss __him,_and _Well, __I __guess __it __really __wasn__'__t __your __fault. __It __could__'__ve __happened __anywhere __and __at __any __time._ By the end of the conversation, they were at least on speaking terms, and Katie said, "I'm going out tonight, but before I leave in the morning, I want to talk to you two again."

"Ok." Katie left, and Logan spoke first. "I'm sorry."

"Me too." They spent some time looking at pictures of TJ and them, and then Kendall said, "What do you think about moving to a new place, to stop the memories. Not saying to forget, just not be reminded of them everyday?"

"Sure." Kendall knew they were both going to have to help each other out to get over this terrible loss (as best as they could), but if anyone could do it, they could.

Katie left the next morning and Kendall texted her _thanks. __I __owe __you._

_Later. hope it all works out._

_It __will. _Kendall thought. Tie would help them. There was a long road ahead, but him and Logan would go down it _together._


End file.
